Thursday, September 6, 2007
Pets and New Babies
By Teri Hanson
http://www.babychatter.com
So you've done everything you need in preparing to bring home your new baby. You have the nursery decorated, the layette, have chosen a name and decided whether to breastfeed or bottle feed. One thing you may have forgotten is Fluffy and Rover... your pets.
Up until now, your pets have probably been your "babies" and gotten most of your attention, they are used to being the king or queen of the house (my cat owns our house, she just lets us live here). Pets are a very important part of your household, a part of your family. How will they react to a new member of the family getting all of the attention that they once received? Will they be jealous? Will they become unsociable? It is very hard to say as each animal has a different personality, much like people. The following are a couple points that may give you some insight and tips for coping with your baby and your pet.
One of the myths I have heard from numerous sources is that cats will be very jealous and try to smother a baby when they are sleeping. Also, that they will suck a baby's breath away. I have heard that this is just a myth, but I wasn't taking any chances, so the following are a couple precautions to consider:
Keeping your pet out of the nursery while your baby is sleeping or unattended, while being not having to close the baby's door or lock up the dog or cat is a concern for many new parents. This could have easily been resolved by baby monitors, but I still felt like I was shutting the baby out. Installing an inexpensive screen door to the nursery is a good way to resolve the problem. Paint the screen door the same color as the trim and decorate it with baby motif. You can get very creative. This also makes a great conversation piece to anyone visiting your home.
Let your pet smell your baby and your baby's belongings. By brushing away the dog or cat every time your pet comes near your new baby can make the pet resentful. Your pet may resort to bad habits as a result of feeling unwanted and jealous.
Some have said to get a pet while your baby is young. They have felt in doing this your child and pet can grow up together and it will help to minimize jealousy. My opinion is that if you do not have a pet already, try to refrain from getting one until your baby is older. Keep in mind that puppies and kittens have very sharp little claws and teeth and while they mean no harm, they want to play and accidents happen. Also, puppies and kittens can be very active and demand a lot of attention in training. Consider whether you want to spend the time training the puppy or kitten or spend that time with your newborn.
Most important, do not leave your newborn unattended with a pet until you see how the pet reacts.
Our family survived the pet and baby dilemma, yours can too.
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* Article by Teri Hanson of Babychatter.com. Visit http://www.babychatter.com for baby names, meanings, origins, free baby stuff and coupons. Subscribe to their free newsletter for updates:
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Dangerous Cookware - How It Can Affect Your Baby's Food
When preparing homemade baby food, we parents are always careful to ensure that the foods we choose are healthy and appropriate for our babies. Something that many of us overlook, however, is the suitability of the pots we're cooking in -- yet the fact is that cookware made from certain materials may not be ideal for the preparation of baby food.
Unlined or uninsulated copper pots should not be used to cook your baby's food. This is because copper destroys both vitamins C and E and also the folic acid in the food. In addition, acidic foods cooked in copper pots can contain toxic levels of copper.
Aluminum pots are also believed to be unsafe for cooking your baby's food. Acidic foods cooked in aluminum pots can dissolve very small quantities of aluminum, which may then be absorbed into the food. Anodized aluminum cookware is a safer alternative, because the the anodizing process "locks" the aluminum into the cookware.
Stainless steel cookware is made up of a mixture of different metals. It is generally considered to be very safe -- but you shouldn't use it to cook your baby's food if it is particularly pitted or dented. You should also avoid scrubbing your stainless steel cookware with an abrasive substance, because this can cause small quantities of nickel and chromium to be released into food.
You should avoid cooking your baby's food in non-stick pans because the non-stick coating may chip off and end up in the food. It is also believed that toxic fumes can be released by heating a non-stick pan to a very high temperature.
No one knows exactly how hazardous these types of cookware are to health and research has yet to come up with any conclusive evidence. Some experts think that the risk is very low, or that only people who are sensitive to certain materials will react unfavourably.
But what would be considered a small risk to an adult may be significantly greater to a baby, so it's probably a good idea to look to safer cookware alternatives when cooking for your little one.
Cooking with iron cookware is actually beneficial to health. When you cook acidic foods (like tomatoes) in iron pots, the foods actually "pull" the iron from the pot. This boosts the important dietary iron in your baby's food.
The FDA's Center for Food Safety and Applied Nutrition consider ceramic, glass and enameled cookware to be safe. You should avoid using older enameled cookware, though, because it may contain cadmium. Cadmium is a toxic substance which is no longer used in the manufacture of cookware in the US. You should also be careful of glazed ceramic cookware from overseas, where the regulations for the inclusion of cadmium and lead in cookware may not be as stringent.
For the sake of your baby's health AND your own, always make sure that your cookware is kept in very good condition - and don't use pots that are cracked, peeling, chipped or pitted.
Christine Albury is a mother of four and the author of Homemade Baby Food Recipes - your complete guide to solid feeding during baby's first year. Christine writes for many other parenting sites and a regional UK magazine. Homemade Baby Food Recipes, which was recently featured by the BBC, includes a very active blog - keeping parents up to date with all important baby food news - plus a free monthly newsletter.
Raising an Indigo Child
These points are taken directly from the website below, but I expanded on them a bit to give you a better understanding from the point of view from an adult indigo.
• Respect them.
Indigo's live strictly by the universal rule that you have to give respect in order to get respect. If you do not show respect to your indigo children, you can bet they will not show you respect no matter how much you punish them... in fact, punishing them for not showing you respect when you've disrespected them will make their behavior worse.
• Practice unconditional love for your child. Love them and show it, no matter what.
One of the most difficult things indigos have to face in life is not being accepted by their peers. Even though they may have friends, they know that their friends will never truly understand them, so they feel alone even in a crowded room. Most people will think they're weird, though, and they may have trouble fitting in. They need your love and support no matter what, and they need to know that regardless of what they may say or do, you will always give them the love and understanding they need.
• Give choices.
Indigo's HATE being told what to do. If you tell your indigo children to do something, you will almost always be met with resistance. If you want your indigos to do something, your best bet would be to ask politely or give them a choice of what they can do (but even if you ask them to do something allow them to decide when it should be done).
• Give them freedom to develop, balanced with supervision and safety limits. Do set limits to protect them, but not arbitrary ones.
Indigo's need a lot of space. They don't like to feel as though they are being held back or smothered. Let your indigos explore life, but don't let them stray too far. If something your indigos are doing concerns you, the best thing you can do is share your feelings openly and honestly. If your children understand your concerns they may come up with a solution that will make everyone happy or decide not to do it at all. The worse thing for indigos is an overprotective parent. If you make too many absolute rules in order to protect your children, especially if those rules interfere with your children’s fitting in or socializing with other kids, you can bet that those rules will always be broken.
• Tell reasons and explain why. Never say "Just because" or "Because I said so" and feel it is an adequate reason for an Indigo. It isn't.
This fits right in with the fact that indigos hate being told what to do, but they also hate being treated as though they lack intelligence. If you tell your indigos 'no', be prepared to give an honest reason for your answer.
• As much as is possible, let them help to create rules and fair and appropriate consequences for breaking them.
A lot of parenting books and magazines suggest this now for all kids, and it's an especially great idea for indigos. If your indigos help to create the rules and consequences, they will almost never break those rules. The only exception to this is if they feel it's morally necessary to do so, but then they will most likely tell you what they did and will be perfectly willing to accept the consequences of their actions.
• Give them complete explanations to the level they will be able understand.
Giving reasons doesn't guarantee that your children will not be upset over your choices or actions, but the more information you give them about what you're feeling the more respect they will have for your decisions.
• Don’t talk down to them.
Indigo's do not respond well to authority and they can't stand when people talk to them as if they were lowly or unintelligent.
• Be honest with your children. Tell the Truth. They will know if you are not.
You can NOT lie to indigos... they may play along with your lie, but they will never believe it. And lying is a surefire way to lose your children's trust and respect. And you know those little "white lies" that parents tell their kids to get them to be quiet or to behave? Don't do it... it won't work!
• Avoid giving orders; instead ask for their cooperation in accomplishing a goal (i.e. of getting ready to leave on time).
Indigo's love a good challenge and will certainly rise to the occasion. Try issuing challenges instead of orders and always be honest. If you are in a hurry tell them you need to be on time for something and explain the consequences you will have to face if you're late. If your children know that you will get in trouble for being late to work more than like they will try to help you to be on time.
• Don’t try to manipulate them. It won't work.
Not only will it not work, but you will lose your children's trust and respect... and if you think it's hard to regain trust and respect from the average person, just try getting it back from an indigo.
• Don’t use guilt, fear, or hate as a controlling tool.
This is a good way to make your indigos angry with you, and will also cause you to lose their trust and respect. It may also cause your children to shut down emotionally around you.
• Be fair.
Part of the indigos’ mission is to bring true justice to the world, so when they see injustice they are compelled to fix it. And I can't begin to tell you the pain indigos feel when the person causing the injustice is someone they love and trust.
• Be consistent. If you say ‘no’, make sure you have a good reason and don't give in.
Believe it or not, this is another good way to lose your indigos' respect because if you don't stick to your own decision, how can they trust anything you say? And if you don’t have a reason for your answer, why should they trust that you made the right one?
• Don’t compare your childhood to theirs (when I was a kid we had to walk 10 miles to school uphill both ways..)
OOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooo.... this one is a doozie... it always elicited an "and I'm supposed to care why" response from me. Indigos know that everyone's life is different and you can't compare one person's experiences with another.
• Provide emotional support for them and their goals.
Indigos can actually see their goals and dreams almost as if they were a memory... something that has already happened. To be told it's not possible for them to accomplish almost seems like an oxymoron and creates a lot of anger.
• Listen to them.
If you don't listen to your indigo, how can you truly understand her or offer support and guidance?
• Respect their privacy and personal space.
Indigos need a lot of space.
• Teach your child to have respect for others regardless of their abilities and model this behavior.
The key phrase here is “model this behavior”. All children will copy your behavior because this is how children learn, but an indigo will make a point to copy your behavior (especially when they know you are wrong) just to prove a point. Indigo’s also have a tendency to be very short on patience, so they need extra guidance in learning to deal with people and accepting that everyone is different with different abilities.
• Admit when you make mistakes.
We should all do this anyway, but indigos become very resentful of people who try to hide their mistakes or put the blame on something or someone else. It’s one of the quickest ways to lose the respect of an indigo.
• Don't do things for your children that they can do themselves. Empower them by letting them develop autonomy.
Most indigos are very independent and will often get angry if you try to do things for them. It’s best to let them go (as long as it’s safe to do so) and let them ask you for help if they need it. Just let them know you are available to them.
• Give them some responsibilities around the home and choices about which responsibilities they will have.
Indigos need to feel needed and wanted. They need to feel as though they are a part of something larger than themselves, but they also need a certain amount of independence.
• Notice good behavior and thank them for it.
If you have lost your indigos’ trust and respect, this is a good way to earn it back.
• Use rewards at least as often as or more so than punishments. These help to get through frustrating times.
Actually it would be better to avoid punishments all together. Indigos don’t generally respond well to them. It’s better to teach indigos that there is a consequence to every action by using “punishments” that fit the “crime”, and communicate to them what you are trying to teach them. And offer rewards to show them that good behaviors result in good consequences.
• Involve your children in your life. Don't shield them from it or they will know and will resent it.
Indigos know when there is something going on in your life. Although there are many things that are not appropriate to talk about with children, you should be as upfront about what’s going on in your life as possible. You never know… they may even be able to help you feel better!
• Respect any psychic skills that they develop, even if you do not understand them. Provide appropriate training and support for any special talents they have - physical or metaphysical.
This is a hard one for many people to accept, and many indigos have had their psychic abilities squashed by parents who fear things of this nature. These children are here for a reason and these abilities are tools that they need in order to accomplish their mission in life. Don’t take that away from them… you will be hurting them more deeply than you could possibly understand.
• Provide creative outlets for your children.
Indigos get bored very easily, which is why they tend to “act up” or misbehave a lot. They learn quickly so they need a lot of challenges and stimulation. They also need to be able to express themselves in different ways.
• Be open to Learning from them.
You will learn a lot!
• Example of an affective parental request of an Indigo Child:
"I need you to help me get to the doctor on time. We have to go in five minutes to make the appointment, so do everything you need to before we go, like go to the bathroom if you have to. Also, since grandma is coming later we need to pick up your toys either now or as soon as we get home. You decide which."
Reference: http://www.metagifted.org/topics/metagifted/indigo/introduction.html
Learn more about Indigo Children and find out whether or not you may be and Adult Indigo at http://spiritualpathways.blogspot.com/!
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